Mar 17, 2025 Staff Reads: Out of the Darkness
Out of the Darkness: My Journey through the Shadows to Find God’s Joy by Mandisa
Reviewed by Lisa H, Public Services Assistant
The unexpected passing of contemporary Christian music artist Mandisa this past spring was a shock to her fans and the industry. I had watched her on American Idol, loved her music, and wanted to learn more about her story. Her book Out of the Darkness: My Journey through the Shadows to Find God’s Joy, released in 2022, tells of her life in the spotlight and of her struggles with weight and depression. Her message: God worked powerfully in her life and can work in ours.
While Mandisa says she had a normal, happy upbringing in California, she admitted she was raped by neighbor at age 16. Her attacker kept telling her how beautiful she was – ultimately making Mandisa uneasy about being “beautiful.” Later, she believes that event led her to subconsciously overeat to make herself less attractive. In general, she says that food had become a good friend and a welcome escape when she faced anxiety and stress.
A vocal performance major in college, Mandisa graduated with no clear career path. She soon was “discovered” and worked as a back-up singer for a traveling worship team until her entry into American Idol in 2005. It was fascinating to hear her tell about the show’s behind-the-scenes roller coaster process. Her early elimination in the first finalist round stunned many – including her. Fortunately, she was able to sign with a record label.
Mandisa described her good, healthy times walking with God as well as stretches when she would lock herself in a dark house, watch television, and binge eat. Her worst time was triggered by the death of a very close friend to cancer. She questioned God’s plan and grew bitter and depressed. She credits her family’s and friends’ relentless efforts to reach her for saving her life.
The book is full of Bible passages and Mandisa’s reflections about how they helped her. Her insights were clear and powerful – and I found them very helpful. At the end of each chapter she includes questions readers can use to reflect on in their own lives.
I would highly recommend Out of the Darkness. It’s well-written, easy to read, and encouraging for readers with all kinds of struggles. You can really hear Mandisa’s personality coming through. Her glowing smile, gorgeous voice, and beautiful heart will be sorely missed in this world. You can get it in print or as an eBook.
(Note: When her death was reported, many people thought she had taken her own life. But rather, the medical exam reported the combination of Covid and her compromised health due to her weight caused her death.)